


Team Gym Rat: A Losers Fitness Program

by scheherezhad



Category: The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Team Gym Rat, Workout, fitness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 00:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2046114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scheherezhad/pseuds/scheherezhad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What it says on the tin. A Losers-inspired fitness program.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: The author is not a healthcare or fitness professional, and the content of this document is for entertainment purposes only. The exercise instructions and advice presented in this document are designed for people who are in good health and physically fit. They are not intended to substitute for medical counseling. Please consult with your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen. By using any information provided in this document, the user is assuming all risks of injury that might result. The author disclaims any liability for damages, loss, or injury in connection with the exercises shown or the instruction and advice expressed.
> 
> Created for the Ante Up: The Losers Big Bang 2014.

**Foreword**

This project started as a silly post on my journal. I've been interested in fitness for a while; and just off-hand one night in April, having at the time recently discovered [Neila Rey's nerdy workouts](http://neilarey.com/), I posited what a weekly workout inspired by the Losers might look like. And like many small moments in life that take you down unexpected paths, that post I made as a silly bit of fluff to signal boost the bang turned into my own bang project after some encouraging comments from friends.

I already had a vague guideline for what I wanted to accomplish in the form of my original post. With an interest but not much experience in fitness, however, I had a lot of work to do. I needed to do research on how to properly get started with a fit lifestyle. I had to find a variety of resources to make sure I was gathering and presenting good information. I wanted to find a way to create visual representations of the exercise routines I had envisioned.

Surprisingly, all of those things came together fairly quickly. (Or maybe not so surprisingly. I am pretty excellent at devising appropriate google search terms.) And naturally, like many large projects in my life, I managed to put off doing most of the work until the week before drafts were due. In the middle, I alternated between slacking off and committing to make better decisions for my own body. The end result is a project I'm proud of, and another few small steps in my own journey to become the best version of myself.

 

**Introduction**

DISCLAIMER (because it bears repeating): The author is not a healthcare or fitness professional, and the content of this document is for entertainment purposes only. The exercise instructions and advice presented in this document are designed for people who are in good health and physically fit. They are not intended to substitute for medical counseling. Please consult with your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen. By using any information provided in this document, the user is assuming all risks of injury that might result. The author disclaims any liability for damages, loss, or injury in connection with the exercises shown or the instruction and advice expressed.

 

When I began this project, one of the first things I knew was that I wanted to create a program that was accessible for any fitness level. Not only that, I wanted it to be accessible on any budget, and to work with a wide range of financial and locational circumstances. This is one of the reasons why there are no machine exercises included. Besides the fact that large gym equipment is not easily accessible to everyone, machines only train you to use machines. It's easy to let the machine pick up the slack if you have poor form, or it may prevent you from achieving a full range of motion in your movements. Using your body weight (or free weights, if you have access to a set) creates functional movements that develop more balanced muscles. It is also more difficult to talk yourself out of exercising if you don't have to go to the gym. Body weight exercises can be done with no equipment in your home, at a park, in a hotel room, or even in an office.

 

Keep in mind that it is important to build a support system for your fitness goals. Maybe you have a coworker, a friend, or a family member who can be your workout partner, and loved ones who will strive to facilitate your lifestyle change and help you meet your goals. Maybe they're unwilling or unable, or you have reasons why you simply don't feel comfortable with that option. If that's the case, perhaps an online community would better serve your needs. Even with personal support, you might desire to use an online fitness community as an additional support and resource.

For those who are more focused on the exercise component, a site like [Fitocracy](https://www.fitocracy.com/home/#) might serve you well, allowing you to easily track your workouts and engage with others interested similar fitness lifestyles. If you're more concerned with monitoring your food intake, a site like [MyFitnessPal](http://www.myfitnesspal.com/) could be more your speed, where you can easily track your eating and find forums of motivation, support, and nutrition information and recipes. Maybe your primary want is the company and support of people who have similar hobbies to yours, and you might find it at a site like [Nerd Fitness](http://www.nerdfitness.com/) or in a forum on a website you're already a member of but might not have thought of in relation to fitness and exercise before (such as Ravelry groups). There is, of course, overlap between dedicated health and fitness sites because nutrition and exercise go hand-in-hand, and nerds are everywhere; but on exploring different options, one or another will probably seem more suited to your needs and tastes. And these are only a few examples based on what I'm familiar with. There are lots of great communities out there to explore.

 

Though it is not precisely under the scope of this regimen, I must also remind that one must eat to support fitness, to the best of one's ability. Food choices and intake have more influence on the body than exercise alone. Obviously, there are many circumstances that factor into an individual's nutrition profile, both external and internal, so I have no place speaking on what anyone puts into their bodies. I will say, however, if you are looking to make changes to the way you eat, it's the same as beginning an exercise regimen: start with small steps. Just like you might have to start with wall push-ups before you can do knee push-ups before you can do full push-ups, so too may you have to start changing your eating habits by adding one extra serving of vegetables to your day, or cutting back one soda at a time and learning to drink more water, or trying one new food a week. You have to build new habits to produce lasting change, and new habits are formed by committing to a series of small changes. It all adds up.


	2. The Basics

First things first, warming up is an integral part of any workout. Forget the old standard of static stretching, though. It can tire out your muscles before you even start your actual workout. Instead, opt for a dynamic warmup that gets your blood flowing and prepares your muscles for use. You can run up and down your stairs, do jumping jacks or high knees, take a brisk walk or bike ride for five or ten minutes, or dance to a couple of fast-paced songs. Once your blood is moving and your heart is pumping, you're ready to get down to business.

If you're new to fitness, pick a workout for the day and start with one full circuit of the exercises to gauge your ability. You want to put 100% into every repetition. 100% means full effort and correct form. If you don't put in the effort, no exercise will be effective; without the right form, not only will it be ineffective, you can also injure yourself. Don't overexert yourself, either. If something hurts or makes you feel like you're going to faint or vomit, stop doing it!

If you can complete a full set of reps for an exercise in the circuit, awesome! If not, do as many reps as you can manage with good form, even if it's only one or two. Fitness is not all or nothing--you're building on all your previous efforts every time you work out. If there is an exercise that you find painful or too advanced, try a modified version of it to adjust it to your ability level, or find a different exercise that works the same muscle groups. On the other end of the spectrum, if you find it easy to complete a particular exercise with good form, you can swap in a more difficult variation, add a few extra reps, or add free weights for more resistance. You don't want to injure, discourage, or bore yourself, after all. You want to stay motivated to continue your path to fitness!

When you've made it through your full circuit, check in with your body to see how you feel. If you feel like you can go another circuit, give yourself a minute to recover and hydrate, and go for it. If you need to stop, go ahead and stretch out and cool yourself down.

 

Remember that if you don't have time for one long session, you can break up a routine and do parts of it throughout your day. Do your pushups or crunches while you heat up your lunch or during commercial breaks while you watch tv. Get your squats out of the way in between meetings. Do some jumping jacks or high knees on your afternoon break to get your blood flowing and stave off that 3 o'clock energy crash. Create your own opportunities to work out.

While you're creating opportunities, don't forget to create a record, as well. Whether you get your workout in all at once or in pieces through the day, write down every exercise you do in a dedicated notebook, or log them on a site like [Fitocracy](https://www.fitocracy.com/home/#). Being able to see your progress will help motivate you to continue moving forward. After all, if you can glance back and see that you managed to get through six of your ten side lunges last time, and only four the time before that, you're more likely to try to make it to eight the next time around.

 

Do note that the exercises and yoga poses presented in the following chapter are only a suggested series, based on some of my personal preferences, and sometimes on the limitations of the range of exercises available in the workout builder I used. If you are unsure of how to properly execute any movement, a quick google search will bring up a plethora of instructional videos to show you the correct form.


	3. The Moves

**Jensen Day: Core and Upper Body**

 

(Workout created at [Workout Labs ](http://workoutlabs.com/)// Download this workout as a pdf [here](https://app.box.com/s/bv0q90rukjj7nakmxo02))

Every exercise in this workout can be completed without equipment, except for the pullups. I felt it necessary to include them because pullups are one of the absolute best exercises you can do for your upper body, as they work muscles all through your back, shoulders, and arms. Bodybuilder and youtuber Scooby has a great guide [here](http://scoobysworkshop.com/pullups-for-total-beginners/) to learning how to execute pullups. If you are able, you may wish to purchase a pullup bar, or you can use any horizontal bar that is stable enough to support your weight and long enough to allow for proper grip distance, such as monkey bars or a sturdy clothesline post. If equipment is not available or a physical limitation prevents you from doing pullups, substitute ten repetitions of an exercise that works the back, or a full-body exercise like burpees. (In fact, you should probably do some burpees anyway. Nobody likes them, but they're good for you.)

Those new to fitness should aim to complete between one and three full circuits. More experienced persons may wish to do five to seven circuits. Circuits should be completed smoothly, with no more than 30 seconds of rest between exercises and no more than 2 minutes rest between circuits.

 

 

**Roque Day: Lower Body**

 

(Workout created at [Workout Labs ](http://workoutlabs.com/)// Download this workout as a pdf [here](https://app.box.com/s/bv0q90rukjj7nakmxo02))

 

Though the images for the calf raises and the side lunge are shown as dumbbell exercises, weights are not necessary to complete the movements. Calf raises, however, are best done on a small step to allow a full range of motion in your leg, letting your heels sink slightly past parallel at the bottom of the movement.

Those new to fitness should aim to complete between one and three full circuits. More experienced persons may wish to do five to seven circuits. Circuits should be completed smoothly, with no more than 30 seconds of rest between exercises and no more than 2 minutes rest between circuits.

 

 

**Cougar Day: Yoga and Meditation**

 

(Workout created at [Yoga Journal](http://www.yogajournal.com/)// Download full-sized image [here](https://app.box.com/s/bv0q90rukjj7nakmxo02))

If you need relaxing yoga or are working toward improved flexibility, try to hold the posture for at least five slow breaths in and out. If you can comfortably hold the pose for longer, feel free to continue for the amount of time that feels right to you. If you want a more invigorating session, hold each posture for one breath before flowing into the next one. You may wish to stop at pose 11 and repeat the sequence another time or two before ending your session with pose 12.

You should feel a nice stretch in each pose. If any are painful, modify the posture, use props if necessary, or replace the pose with a different one.

 

_A Note on Meditation_

 

Meditation doesn't have to be about reaching enlightenment. You can focus on resolving a problem or question, on emptying your mind and centering yourself, or simply on appreciating something good. Don't think that you have to sit in lotus for an hour chanting "om" to get in some quality meditation (although you can if you want to!), because all you really need is a quiet moment and a comfortable seat.  
  
Personally, I find inward focus very difficult. I spend a lot of time in my head, so every time I tried to meditate for years, I would get frustrated because I couldn't focus on a single image or mantra to clear my mind and let go of stray thoughts the way I had always heard it was done. What changed things for me was realizing I already had a different method of meditating. When I focus outward, letting my mind idly observe the sounds of my surroundings, it is very easy to let my mind go still and my body relax. Maybe you already have your own method, too. It might be knitting or doodling or running, maybe your morning shower or breathing in the quiet minutes before you get into bed. Find your own meditation and use it often.

 

 

**Aisha Day: Agility**

 

(Download the full-sized image [here](https://app.box.com/s/bv0q90rukjj7nakmxo02))

These are only a few of the possible drills one can run on an agility ladder. The ladder, of course, is not necessary as long as you have about 15 feet/4.5 meters or so to run your drills. Although the instructions use "left to right" or "forward," be sure to work each drill the opposite direction, as well, so you have a balanced workout. For an extra challenge, once you get to the end of the ladder, sprint several yards and jog back to the ladder before moving on to the opposite direction or the next drill.

 

(Download the full-sized images [here](https://app.box.com/s/bv0q90rukjj7nakmxo02))

 

These are some examples of drills you can run with cones or other markers. To set it up, place your four outer markers 10 yards/3 meters apart, and the fifth marker in the center. Figure 1 is a basic box sprint drill, which can be run inside or outside the markers. Figure 2 is a modified version, also run inside or outside, but your second leg of the drill is done in a shuffle (moving in small, quick steps), and the last leg is done in a carioca step (like a grapevine in dance, where you step to the side with your lead foot, cross the other foot in front, step to the side again, and cross in back; repeat quickly).

Figure 3 is a basic M sprint, and Figure 4 is the modified version with shuffles. These can be run on the inside and the outside, as well.

Figure 5 is an outside X sprint. From each marker, you sprint to the center and loop around the marker 90 degrees to your left, sprint to the next marker and circle it from the outside, and continue this pattern until you reach your start point again. The inside X, Figure 6, is run similarly, but without making a loop around each marker.

 

**Pooch Day: Cardio**

 

There's no set workout for this day because I feel cardio is much more personal. You might like to walk, jog, or run. You might want to play ball with your kids. You might go out dancing with your friends. You might learn to hula hoop. You might even get nostalgic and pop in that Sweatin' To The Oldies VHS you found in the attic. Choose something you enjoy doing for half an hour or so and that will elevate your heart rate, and have at it!

 

 

**Clay Day: Rest!**

 

Since this program has five days of workouts, you'll have two rest days during your week. Personally, I find it easier if I space them out (three workout days, rest day, two workout days, rest day), but it might fit your schedule better to take them both in a row. You could even cut out one rest day and use a six-day workout schedule, on a rotation or doubling up on your favorite workout for the week. You just have to allow time for your muscles to recover. Besides rest, this also means planning your workout days so that you're not working any one muscle group heavily on consecutive days. Don't over-stress your body.

 


	4. The Wrap-up

**The Recap**

 

  * Always warm up before you work out
  * Give your movements 100% effort and correct form
  * Listen to your body, and stop when something hurts
  * Alternate which body parts you work day to day to let your muscles rest and recover
  * Stretch after your workout
  * Write everything down, or log it on a site like Fitocracy so you can keep track of your progress



 

Now get out there and be the best Loser you can be!

 

**Sources consulted in the making of this bang:**

[Yoga Journal](http://www.yogajournal.com/)  
[DoYouYoga.com](http://www.doyouyoga.com/)  
[Neila Rey](http://neilarey.com/)  
[Nerd Fitness](http://www.nerdfitness.com/)  
[Fitocracy](https://www.fitocracy.com/home/#)  
[My Fitness Pal](http://www.myfitnesspal.com/)  
[Workout Labs](http://workoutlabs.com/)  
[Scooby's Workshop](http://scoobysworkshop.com/)  
[Workoutz.com](http://www.workoutz.com/category/speed_and_agility_exercises)

 

**Additional resources:**

[Big Gal Yoga](http://big-gal-yoga.tumblr.com/) is a tumblr run by a woman of size who is a yoga practitioner. [This post](http://big-gal-yoga.tumblr.com/post/74133892024/getting-into-yoga) is a great starting point if you feel like your starting strength, flexibility, size, or shape is a hindrance to trying yoga.

In a similar vein, [Curvy Yoga](http://www.curvyyoga.com/) has some [free resources](http://www.curvyyoga.com/freebies/) aimed at making yoga work with larger bodies.

[Go Kaleo](https://gokaleo.com/) is one of my favorite fitness blogs. I love her philosophy of [Eat The Food](https://gokaleo.com/stop-dieting/), because drastically low-calorie diets are not a sustainable lifestyle for most people.

[Fit and Feminist](http://fitandfeminist.wordpress.com/) is another favorite, combining two of my interests.

Not strictly fitness-related, but self-image is an important component of overall health: [My Body Gallery: What Real Women Look Like](http://www.mybodygallery.com/) is a collection of user-submitted images of women of all shapes and sizes. You can search by various parameters to see how those traits are expressed in a range of ways. It's a refreshing change from the narrow, idealized images of women in the media. (Though there is no nudity as far as I am aware, some images may feature women in underwear. Proceed with caution if viewing at work.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> Many, many thanks to all of the awesome people who have cheered me on during this project: kisahawklin, ladykrysis, moriavis, omens, nagasvoice, spurious_sanity, mergatrude, and I'm sorry if I forgot anyone! I couldn't have gotten through this without the constant encouragement and boundless enthusiasm you all showed.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Picspam of The Losers for Team Gym Rat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2134281) by [kisahawklin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin)
  * [Don't Stop the Music](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2210325) by [Moriavis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moriavis/pseuds/Moriavis)
  * [Together All These Losers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6277468) by [lady_krysis (saekhwa)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saekhwa/pseuds/lady_krysis)




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